I can't stop myself anymore
I have nothing to stand for
My mind became completely bare
Hiding itself from their stare
I can't stop my fears from appearing
I have nothing to stop my tearing
My mind is long since broken
Hiding itself from what's spoken
I can't stop my overpowering insanity
I have nothing to save my humanity
My mind can only deny so much
Hiding itself away from such
I can't stop, I have nothing
But the pain nothing brings
My mind is hiding itself
In hopes of saving myself
In hopes that I ever had a chance
You can count to three now, but I'll give it until eight,
Because anything past eight I can't save, it'll be too late.
I must escape this scary place before I do something I'll regret,
The reason for regret is obvious, for I don't want people to forget.
Forget about me that is, before that, I want to find true love,
The true love for someone truly beautiful, well, kind of.
For no one is prefect, I always see the best example in my mirror,
So I must escape, now that I see my end drawing nearer and nearer,
But the only escape for me is finding someone to clear my desolation,
In the mean time, I will stay here until my heart dies of sta
Then I say cry, scream if you must little girl,
As you sit in THAT corner, to your chest your leg's curl,
Go ahead and scream to nothingness, I can wait,
I will spoon feed you kindness until you take the bait.
I want to whisk you away, but I have not the means,
Until then little girl, my tears fall for each of your screams.
I know not what to do to help you out of your mind's hell,
But I do know for a fact that I can't leave you in your shell.
You're too beautiful to hide away, but need to be shown,
Whether you realized it or not, I've cared more then you've known.
I cried silent tears as I reread your cries for help into the air,
I was telling myself the same, before I pulled string around my neck
That I can make myself happy, but having friends puts me in a wreck.
But all I did was lay in bed, and hug the pillow forever damp with my tears,
Asking constantly why I didn't deserve even a hug, throughout all my years.
My heart still aches in horrifying pain, longing for the slightest bit of love,
I can see it every where I look, yet it's something I will never get a hold of.
When I thought life was being nice, and gave me someone who would care.
It turned out they used me, them overflowing the last bit of pain I could bear.
Yet somehow I'm here, sharing my best,
While I agree that with more joy can come more hurt,
But imagine seeing that joy a hair's breath out of reach,
Living with only a longing of someone to simply hug you,
Yet caught in such loneliness that you can't seem to breach.
"'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to never had loved at all",
I only see this as an excuse to help a person move on from the loss,
But you hear all the time, that there is worse things then death,
Some things that can't be drowned out by the skin I cut across.
Yet still, despite the overwhelming sadness, there is always a little light,
Even for me, there was a reason not to tie that string around my n
Death comes too fast and too soon,
We're all stuck behind a giant dune,
The closer we get, the more the sand slips,
Sooner or laster, we'll have to come to grips.
Life is hard, and can throw you down,
Still one must be able to avoid a frown.
I can't imagine anymore about how I used to be,
I got so depressed just thinking about me.
There we times when I wanted to end it all,
I didn't want to go through life in a crawl.
The worst part is, I still feel that way,
I'm dying within, my heart started to decay.
I've lost my way so many times that it's ridiculous,
I was forced to work hard and be very meticulous,
I worked to survive, som
Yes, I was right in the end, I knew this all along,
That things wouldn't work out, still I must be strong.
Life can be extremely short, just like one's love,
I'll keep it as long as I can, even begging, I'm not above.
I hate being right, about all the wrong things,
I never deserved to love, never to spread my wings.
You came at a dark time, when I finished up my emotions,
You showed me true love, and I was caught by that notion.
That same notion I feared, the one that caused my pain,
The pain was bottled up, but soon grew too much to contain.
I hate being right, I hate actually having a clue,
I never deserved to love, how much shou
...We were so happy! How did it come to this?
How could this happen, there's so much to miss!
I finally opened my heart, I was still learning!
In the end I was right, of love I'm undeserving.
...You called and you cried, but I could do nothing for you.
I was told it wouldn't work, there was nothing I could do?
I became broken and lost, choking on my own sadness!
Neither of us had a choice, but don't give in to the madness.
To let you survive, I made the worst choice ever...
I had to leave you, guess I'll see you never...
Stay Strong my sweet, especially where I was not!
You don't need a weakling like me, or at least, that is what I
Come a little closer, have a slice of my life,
I think you might love it, it cuts deeper then a knife.
Emotions are left there, don't worry about them here,
stuff them in this box, along with all your fear.
We'll have a good time, humming with the screams within,
Wearing all sorts of masks, so it's like a second skin.
Don't know where to go, this ride sure is crazy,
Just keep following it, even when my vision is hazy.
I'll have a world of my creation, place that's calmer then most,
You can ignore the stresses of life, or live like a ghost,
This may even work, unless there's someone you'll miss,
because most deep inside, all you wan
I can't stop myself anymore
I have nothing to stand for
My mind became completely bare
Hiding itself from their stare
I can't stop my fears from appearing
I have nothing to stop my tearing
My mind is long since broken
Hiding itself from what's spoken
I can't stop my overpowering insanity
I have nothing to save my humanity
My mind can only deny so much
Hiding itself away from such
I can't stop, I have nothing
But the pain nothing brings
My mind is hiding itself
In hopes of saving myself
In hopes that I ever had a chance
You can count to three now, but I'll give it until eight,
Because anything past eight I can't save, it'll be too late.
I must escape this scary place before I do something I'll regret,
The reason for regret is obvious, for I don't want people to forget.
Forget about me that is, before that, I want to find true love,
The true love for someone truly beautiful, well, kind of.
For no one is prefect, I always see the best example in my mirror,
So I must escape, now that I see my end drawing nearer and nearer,
But the only escape for me is finding someone to clear my desolation,
In the mean time, I will stay here until my heart dies of sta
Then I say cry, scream if you must little girl,
As you sit in THAT corner, to your chest your leg's curl,
Go ahead and scream to nothingness, I can wait,
I will spoon feed you kindness until you take the bait.
I want to whisk you away, but I have not the means,
Until then little girl, my tears fall for each of your screams.
I know not what to do to help you out of your mind's hell,
But I do know for a fact that I can't leave you in your shell.
You're too beautiful to hide away, but need to be shown,
Whether you realized it or not, I've cared more then you've known.
I cried silent tears as I reread your cries for help into the air,
Yes, I was right in the end, I knew this all along,
That things wouldn't work out, still I must be strong.
Life can be extremely short, just like one's love,
I'll keep it as long as I can, even begging, I'm not above.
I hate being right, about all the wrong things,
I never deserved to love, never to spread my wings.
You came at a dark time, when I finished up my emotions,
You showed me true love, and I was caught by that notion.
That same notion I feared, the one that caused my pain,
The pain was bottled up, but soon grew too much to contain.
I hate being right, I hate actually having a clue,
I never deserved to love, how much shou
I was telling myself the same, before I pulled string around my neck
That I can make myself happy, but having friends puts me in a wreck.
But all I did was lay in bed, and hug the pillow forever damp with my tears,
Asking constantly why I didn't deserve even a hug, throughout all my years.
My heart still aches in horrifying pain, longing for the slightest bit of love,
I can see it every where I look, yet it's something I will never get a hold of.
When I thought life was being nice, and gave me someone who would care.
It turned out they used me, them overflowing the last bit of pain I could bear.
Yet somehow I'm here, sharing my best,
While I agree that with more joy can come more hurt,
But imagine seeing that joy a hair's breath out of reach,
Living with only a longing of someone to simply hug you,
Yet caught in such loneliness that you can't seem to breach.
"'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to never had loved at all",
I only see this as an excuse to help a person move on from the loss,
But you hear all the time, that there is worse things then death,
Some things that can't be drowned out by the skin I cut across.
Yet still, despite the overwhelming sadness, there is always a little light,
Even for me, there was a reason not to tie that string around my n
Death comes too fast and too soon,
We're all stuck behind a giant dune,
The closer we get, the more the sand slips,
Sooner or laster, we'll have to come to grips.
Life is hard, and can throw you down,
Still one must be able to avoid a frown.
I can't imagine anymore about how I used to be,
I got so depressed just thinking about me.
There we times when I wanted to end it all,
I didn't want to go through life in a crawl.
The worst part is, I still feel that way,
I'm dying within, my heart started to decay.
I've lost my way so many times that it's ridiculous,
I was forced to work hard and be very meticulous,
I worked to survive, som
...We were so happy! How did it come to this?
How could this happen, there's so much to miss!
I finally opened my heart, I was still learning!
In the end I was right, of love I'm undeserving.
...You called and you cried, but I could do nothing for you.
I was told it wouldn't work, there was nothing I could do?
I became broken and lost, choking on my own sadness!
Neither of us had a choice, but don't give in to the madness.
To let you survive, I made the worst choice ever...
I had to leave you, guess I'll see you never...
Stay Strong my sweet, especially where I was not!
You don't need a weakling like me, or at least, that is what I
Come a little closer, have a slice of my life,
I think you might love it, it cuts deeper then a knife.
Emotions are left there, don't worry about them here,
stuff them in this box, along with all your fear.
We'll have a good time, humming with the screams within,
Wearing all sorts of masks, so it's like a second skin.
Don't know where to go, this ride sure is crazy,
Just keep following it, even when my vision is hazy.
I'll have a world of my creation, place that's calmer then most,
You can ignore the stresses of life, or live like a ghost,
This may even work, unless there's someone you'll miss,
because most deep inside, all you wan
"I know you."
"No, I don't think you do."
"Yes I do, you're that girl who hates the rain."
"I don't hate the rain."
"I know that. You never did. However, you lied to yourself until you thought you did."
"How do you-"
"I saw it. You see I used to know you as the girl who loved the rain. You would stand in it, arms out stretched, twirling like a ballerina to no music. You used to embrace the clarity of the rain and love when it washed you clean. Then something changed. Your eyes became dull mirrors that reflected the horrors of the world and your smile became vacant. You did not wear your heart on your sleeve anymore,
She fades beneath here and now.
Holding in all her tears,
She watches the sun dissapear.
Petals lay beneath her feet-
Fallen from the roses she unburied.
Pretty curls linger admist her face,
Pain etches marks within some lace.
She screams but no one hears.
For-
Her voice broke years ago I fear.
No one knows her pain.
She's far past dead these days,
No tombstone marking her grave.
She forgot how to live-
How to breathe,
And eat.
Darkness took over all faith,
And pain put her in a grave.
For you...I will be waiting...6 months. by MelodicInterval, journal
For you...I will be waiting...6 months.
I'm going insane...this pain has become more unbearable than I remembered...
I wonder if you feel the same way...are you suffering too?
They say...if you love someone set them free. If they return to you then it's meant to be.
I alternate between my hopes and fears...
All I know is that despite how I try to go on like nothing happened,
I will always be here waiting for you to come back and find me, to fix my heart once more.
Teach me how to smile again...I have forgotten how.
I struggle everyday to refrain from contacting you because you said you need to keep your distance...
You say you love me but we can't be together right now
A new chapter in this story of me,
Another page turned in this book,
Another tear or smile to see,
A new way to love or a new look.
This story we weave through time,
With love and pain and tears,
A tale of truth so sublime,
A tale of us and all our fears.
The pages we study turn after turn,
They weave colors into a smile,
They can make our stomachs churn,
Or a laugh change the world for a while.
A new chapter is written,
A new host of feelings felt,
Another lover smitten,
A heart placed upon a shelf.
This is our book,
Our story of truth sublime,
A written memory we took,
And made last for all time.
I'll spread my wings-
I'll be your love sick junky.
I'd be your little butterfly.
But,
My wings are weak.
For,
You've taken my heart from me.
See the rips-
In these wings?
You've stolen all happiness,
Stomped on all faith-
You've lied to my face!
Said you loved me,
That I was your little baby-
That you'd always be my safety.
Why are these tears still in my eyes?
Hope has simply faded from my life,
Tears replace the smiles upon my face-
Pain took over all faith.
Little cuts decorate my skin-
Reminding me of that past I wish didn't exist.
You said you loved me darling-
That you forever wanted me.
You knocked me down,
Br
I picked a flower at my feet.
I plucked the petals-
Thinking of you and me.
They told me you didn't love me,
Didn't want me,
That I was nothing.
I threw the flower at the ground-
Watching it float soundlessly.
The wind blew it from my reach.
I should have noticed,
That we wouldn't last-
That we were bound to end when death overtook my laughs.
The flower told me the truth.
You're a liar,
Leaving me when I needed you most.
You told me I'm all alone.
Not realizing I already knew that-
It's the way it has always been.
The way it will always be.
They come in a million ways.
Sometimes quick-
On the way out the door one cold morning.
They mean so much inbetween.
Whispered skin rushed against one another,
Arms held across each other.
Secrets float through the air,
You don't want to let go-
You fear the moment when you watch the person dissapear.
You want them in your arms once more-
Wishing you could whisper that you care,
That you love them.
The memory of their perfume lingers on your clothes.
You try not to cry-
When the hug turns into a silent good bye.
You watch the luggage pile up.
The house divided with coloured sticky notes-
The car holding everything you loved,
icy cold hands creep
over my stony
bony skin, melt
water drips
down where
it should not
be -
you want me
dead, you want me
dead and this is a
crime.
claw your way
through my tender
flesh, feel my
heart's petrified
beating,
stupefied
breathing;
you are hunting and
i am prey and
you are playing and
i am playing
dead
, so there is no
need to try to
kill me, unless you
are intent on destroying
me from the inside
out, from the outside
in. (in each and every
way.)
and you can lie
to yourself as much
as you want, but i
feel the flames in your
gaze and the ice on your
fingers down my legs,
and i
can assure
you
I am a teen age boy that defies all stereotypes, though i break to many, describing myself is very hard...
I hope all that see this have a great day, and those that didn't see this, see it, and have a great day (^_^)
Current Residence: California Favourite genre of music: techno Operating System: windows 7 MP3 player of choice: PSP Wallpaper of choice: Neko Favourite cartoon character: Jerry Personal Quote: You're attracted by looks, like them for their personality, but you can only love them for thei
well, I PLANNED to be posting a new picture every week but then one of my most reaccuring monster reared it's ugly little head. Yes, that creepy monster is also known as school.
School now is taking up a huge chunk of my time as i try to keep up with my homework ( which is redidclous) and I'm still mastering the rubix cube ( down to 1:15 average).
My promise is that this week, I will create a new page of my pratice of faces and will have it in bfore a week from the 6th. I want to work on my hair and deffering between male and female faces, eyes and noses.
I may pratice a little bit of proportions, but it will mainly be a head thingy-ma-j
OKAY!!!!!
I finally got confident enough to start posting my stuff on DA, though it still sucks and needs a TON of work
I won't be coloring anything ( don't expect too much) and I still have work to do before i stop working on heads and start towards outfits, though I will try to include my basic body to practice the proportions.
SOOOOO, yeah, wish me luck and if you want to help, I'm glad to take anything i recieve
I am still working on faces (my style I'm working towards is shoujo beat, like in SA or gentleman's academy)
my favorite emoticons ( just to be random)
*(^o^)* "NO WAY!!! THAT'S AWESOME"
(-_-') "I really messed up...."
I'm finally gotten over my procrastination and decided to try ad turn out one drawing a week, and get into actually following some tutorials to learn more then just one type of hair
I'm sorry to people at somehow know me and are disappointed with my sork so far, which was really work....
It was a makeshift photobucket
But i am now going to try my best, wish me luck!!
well, I favorited it so I know to go back to it, I like writing responses In poetry, so look forward to it in the coming week. As for the moment, not in the mindset to do it justice, the tone needs more compassion, and I have none at this moment...