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I just can't
I can't stop myself anymore
I have nothing to stand for
My mind became completely bare
Hiding itself from their stare
I can't stop my fears from appearing
I have nothing to stop my tearing
My mind is long since broken
Hiding itself from what's spoken
I can't stop my overpowering insanity
I have nothing to save my humanity
My mind can only deny so much
Hiding itself away from such
I can't stop, I have nothing
But the pain nothing brings
My mind is hiding itself
In hopes of saving myself
In hopes that I ever had a chance
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 1 3
You can count to three now, but I'll give it until eight,
Because anything past eight I can't save, it'll be too late.
I must escape this scary place before I do something I'll regret,
The reason for regret is obvious, for I don't want people to forget.
Forget about me that is, before that, I want to find true love,
The true love for someone truly beautiful, well, kind of.
For no one is prefect, I always see the best example in my mirror,
So I must escape, now that I see my end drawing nearer and nearer,
But the only escape for me is finding someone to clear my desolation,
In the mean time, I will stay here until my heart dies of starvation.
For love won't let me down, right?...
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 4 0
Mature content
Kill me softly :iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 4 1
go ahead
Then I say cry, scream if you must little girl,
As you sit in THAT corner, to your chest your leg's curl,
Go ahead and scream to nothingness, I can wait,
I will spoon feed you kindness until you take the bait.
I want to whisk you away, but I have not the means,
Until then little girl, my tears fall for each of your screams.
I know not what to do to help you out of your mind's hell,
But I do know for a fact that I can't leave you in your shell.
You're too beautiful to hide away, but need to be shown,
Whether you realized it or not, I've cared more then you've known.
I cried silent tears as I reread your cries for help into the air,
Or thoughts of people like you stopped me from saying" farewell".
Now I've decided to make known, that you are not the little girl,
The one that sat in THAT corner, to their chest their legs would curl.
You are the strong beautiful woman, who can overcome reality,
the one that conquered her fears, despite their own lethality.
I believe in your strength, you c
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 3 3
Pull away
I was telling myself the same, before I pulled string around my neck
That I can make myself happy, but having friends puts me in a wreck.
But all I did was lay in bed, and hug the pillow forever damp with my tears,
Asking constantly why I didn't deserve even a hug, throughout all my years.
My heart still aches in horrifying pain, longing for the slightest bit of love,
I can see it every where I look, yet it's something I will never get a hold of.
When I thought life was being nice, and gave me someone who would care.
It turned out they used me, them overflowing the last bit of pain I could bear.
Yet somehow I'm here, sharing my best, fake smile for all who pity me,
They'll laugh and move on, because it's past my mask that they will never see.
They will always be people like you and me,
When you find another, you can set the other free...
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 4 0
Never Loved
While I agree that with more joy can come more hurt,
But imagine seeing that joy a hair's breath out of reach,
Living with only a longing of someone to simply hug you,
Yet caught in such loneliness that you can't seem to breach.
"'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to never had loved at all",
I only see this as an excuse to help a person move on from the loss,
But you hear all the time, that there is worse things then death,
Some things that can't be drowned out by the skin I cut across.
Yet still, despite the overwhelming sadness, there is always a little light,
Even for me, there was a reason not to tie that string around my neck to tight.
just wait until you find yours...
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 4 0
Death comes too fast and too soon,
We're all stuck behind a giant dune,
The closer we get, the more the sand slips,
Sooner or laster, we'll have to come to grips.
Life is hard, and can throw you down,
Still one must be able to avoid a frown.
I can't imagine anymore about how I used to be,
I got so depressed just thinking about me.
There we times when I wanted to end it all,
I didn't want to go through life in a crawl.
The worst part is, I still feel that way,
I'm dying within, my heart started to decay.
I've lost my way so many times that it's ridiculous,
I was forced to work hard and be very meticulous,
I worked to survive, something I didn't want to do,
And still, I wait for everything to just fall through.
But one day, I may be able to smile for real again...
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 2 2
Hate being right
Yes, I was right in the end, I knew this all along,
That things wouldn't work out, still I must be strong.
Life can be extremely short, just like one's love,
I'll keep it as long as I can, even begging, I'm not above.

I hate being right, about all the wrong things,
I never deserved to love, never to spread my wings.

You came at a dark time, when I finished up my emotions,
You showed me true love, and I was caught by that notion.
That same notion I feared, the one that caused my pain,
The pain was bottled up, but soon grew too much to contain.

I hate being right, I hate actually having a clue,
I never deserved to love, how much should I go through.

I believed the feelings, and ignored my own sanity,
I cared so much about you, and constantly fed your vanity.
I made you smile often, like all the other people I know,
Now you just ended it all, now i must just "let it go".

I always knew I was right, I knew this was coming,
I didn't deserve to love, I'm glad the pain's
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 2 2
...We were so happy! How did it come to this?
How could this happen, there's so much to miss!
I finally opened my heart, I was still learning!
In the end I was right, of love I'm undeserving.
...You called and you cried, but I could do nothing for you.
I was told it wouldn't work, there was nothing I could do?
I became broken and lost, choking on my own sadness!
Neither of us had a choice, but don't give in to the madness.
To let you survive, I made the worst choice ever...
I had to leave you, guess I'll see you never...
Stay Strong my sweet, especially where I was not!
You don't need a weakling like me, or at least, that is what I was taught.
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 4 1
Slice of Life
Come a little closer, have a slice of my life,
I think you might love it, it cuts deeper then a knife.
Emotions are left there, don't worry about them here,
stuff them in this box, along with all your fear.
We'll have a good time, humming with the screams within,
Wearing all sorts of masks, so it's like a second skin.
Don't know where to go, this ride sure is crazy,
Just keep following it, even when my vision is hazy.
I'll have a world of my creation, place that's calmer then most,
You can ignore the stresses of life, or live like a ghost,
This may even work, unless there's someone you'll miss,
because most deep inside, all you wanted was a kiss.
SO, forget your hell, and take a whack at mine,
you and me together, I'm waiting for the punch line.
You taste my slice of life, and will surely run away,
But guess that's expected, I'll try again, someday.
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 7 14
Invisible Fiends
Remember those invisible friends, back in elementary school,
The only ones that'd play with you, so you don't feel like a fool.
I thought they leave when you grow up, gone along with age,
I'm glad you're here, helping me stop my rampage.
My real friends are never there for me, please stay by my side,
No matter how tough i look, I'm so scared on the inside.
It took me so long to stop, and the temptation's always there,
Many times lately, my life feels like too much to bear.
So please stay with me, my invisible friend that cares,
Make sure to protect me, keep me from their stares.
If only you were real, and I could hold you near,
you could stay with me always, and end all my tears.
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 3 5
All I feel, is at a lose for words,
I sit down from dizziness, and start to see birds.
Does anyone care about me? Doew anyone want me?
I'm lonely and scared, so why leave me be?
People need me and use me, it hurts, I must say
I see you're the same, come closer if you may,
With me and you together, we can learn to love once more,
Living within a dream, giving me something to live for.
I need to be needed, and want to be wanted,
Life became scary, but with you I'm not daunted.
To live life to the fullest, with you by my side,
Is all that I want, with these feelings of mine.
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 6 0
The Hunt
A great utter blackness, with emptiness inside,
fills my whole being, I feel as if I died.
The clock struck six, the bell rings bug once,
I must hurry and get out of here, for soon starts the hunt.
I need to find myself, before my problems find me first,
I search and search and search, but it seems I have been cursed.
My depression find the true me, and locks it in a mask,
The lock is strong, I try so hard, yet still it does hold fast.
But someone else must take this mask from me, to save me from this mess,
I feel as if I'm drowning , I'll do anything I must confess,
To know you are right there, hiding just as me,
Please take a hold my hand, for together, we are set free.
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 4 0
Rant without reason
no matter where i turn, not matter how much i run
I can never seem to get away from this "so-called" fun
my life is a mess, my memories not but pain
i would swear it wasn't worth it, am i still sane?
food never satisfies, water never fills
That hole within, which give me the chills
life is amazing, anyone can see
then why can everyone enjoy it but me
I feel empty betrayed and used
my mask and myself have finally fused
I can no longer return to my true identity
i can simply keep the act as a completely different entity
my parents divorced, me true parents never married
doesn't seem enough to have me this buried
but within me hides the truth, the darkest secret of mine
that one thing that would send chills up your spine
I can't tell a soul, I can't trust none
I now know why jail is so awful, after the deed is done
being stuck in a place, without any escape
from the horrible crime, I'm caught by the red tape
but i just have to endure, 1 more year,
before i can confess, without any fear
:iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 5 3
Screenshot this by bladesafaridor Screenshot this :iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 0 1 first DA drawing by bladesafaridor first DA drawing :iconbladesafaridor:bladesafaridor 1 1


   "I know you."
   "No, I don't think you do."
   "Yes I do, you're that girl who hates the rain."
   "I don't hate the rain."
   "I know that. You never did. However, you lied to yourself until you thought you did."
   "How do you-"
   "I saw it. You see I used to know you as the girl who loved the rain. You would stand in it, arms out stretched, twirling like a ballerina to no music. You used to embrace the clarity of the rain and love when it washed you clean. Then something changed. Your eyes became dull mirrors that reflected the horrors of the world and your smile became vacant. You did not wear your heart on your sleeve anymore, you hid it away and forgot how to share what you felt. You covered your face and ran when the sky opened up. You never danced in the rain. Something broke in you. You allowed your light to be swallowed up by ugly things. You stopped livi
:iconstarmiget:StArMigEt 15 23
Like A Memory.
She fades beneath here and now.
Holding in all her tears,
She watches the sun dissapear.
Petals lay beneath her feet-
Fallen from the roses she unburied.
Pretty curls linger admist her face,
Pain etches marks within some lace.
She screams but no one hears.
Her voice broke years ago I fear.
No one knows her pain.
She's far past dead these days,
No tombstone marking her grave.
She forgot how to live-
How to breathe,
And eat.
Darkness took over all faith,
And pain put her in a grave.
:iconeyeofhavoc:EyeOfHavoc 27 54
Mature content
It's Never Gonna End. :iconeyeofhavoc:EyeOfHavoc 18 58
For you...I will be waiting...6 months.
I'm going insane...this pain has become more unbearable than I remembered...
I wonder if you feel the same way...are you suffering too?
They say...if you love someone set them free. If they return to you then it's meant to be.  
I alternate between my hopes and fears...
All I know is that despite how I try to go on like nothing happened,
I will always be here waiting for you to come back and find me, to fix my heart once more.  
Teach me how to smile again...I have forgotten how.  
I struggle everyday to refrain from contacting you because you said you need to keep your distance...
You say you love me but we can't be together right now..what does that mean?
Should I wait endlessly for you?  Is that what you want?
You say it will be at least six months before we know the answer...
I'll have to leave my heart in the hands of time...
The chances that you read this are slim but if you do...can you answer me?
Don't I deserve a proper explanation?
:iconmelodicinterval:MelodicInterval 5 45
A story of us
A new chapter in this story of me,
Another page turned in this book,
Another tear or smile to see,
A new way to love or a new look.
This story we weave through time,
With love and pain and tears,
A tale of truth so sublime,
A tale of us and all our fears.
The pages we study turn after turn,
They weave colors into a smile,
They can make our stomachs churn,
Or a laugh change the world for a while.
A new chapter is written,
A new host of feelings felt,
Another lover smitten,
A heart placed upon a shelf.
This is our book,
Our story of truth sublime,
A written memory we took,
And made last for all time.
:iconfirechic86:FireChic86 7 7
Little Butterfly.
I'll spread my wings-
I'll be your love sick junky.
I'd be your little butterfly.
My wings are weak.
You've taken my heart from me.
See the rips-
In these wings?
You've stolen all happiness,
Stomped on all faith-
You've lied to my face!
Said you loved me,
That I was your little baby-
That you'd always be my safety.
Why are these tears still in my eyes?
Hope has simply faded from my life,
Tears replace the smiles upon my face-
Pain took over all faith.
Little cuts decorate my skin-
Reminding me of that past I wish didn't exist.
You said you loved me darling-
That you forever wanted me.
You knocked me down,
Broke my heart into a million pieces-
And walked away.
:iconeyeofhavoc:EyeOfHavoc 18 33
Mature content
I Found A Pretty Knife Today. :iconeyeofhavoc:EyeOfHavoc 21 43
Last Month.
I picked a flower at my feet.
I plucked the petals-
Thinking of you and me.
They told me you didn't love me,
Didn't want me,
That I was nothing.
I threw the flower at the ground-
Watching it float soundlessly.
The wind blew it from my reach.
I should have noticed,
That we wouldn't last-
That we were bound to end when death overtook my laughs.
The flower told me the truth.
You're a liar,
Leaving me when I needed you most.
You told me I'm all alone.
Not realizing I already knew that-
It's the way it has always been.
The way it will always be.
:iconeyeofhavoc:EyeOfHavoc 14 33
They come in a million ways.
Sometimes quick-
On the way out the door one cold morning.
They mean so much inbetween.
Whispered skin rushed against one another,
Arms held across each other.
Secrets float through the air,
You don't want to let go-
You fear the moment when you watch the person dissapear.
You want them in your arms once more-
Wishing you could whisper that you care,
That you love them.
The memory of their perfume lingers on your clothes.
You try not to cry-
When the hug turns into a silent good bye.
You watch the luggage pile up.
The house divided with coloured sticky notes-
The car holding everything you loved,
Everything that reminded you of the other.
You go to hug one more time,
Feeling the coldness-
The missing perfume that's usually there.
You feel nothing,
But the sadness held in your hidden
:iconeyeofhavoc:EyeOfHavoc 42 144
dream of defiling
icy cold hands creep
over my stony
bony skin, melt
water drips
down where
it should not
be -
you want me
dead, you want me
dead and this is a
claw your way
through my tender
flesh, feel my
heart's petrified
you are hunting and
i am prey and
you are playing and
i am playing
, so there is no
need to try to
kill me, unless you
are intent on destroying
me from the inside
out, from the outside
in. (in each and every
and you can lie
to yourself as much
as you want, but i
feel the flames in your
gaze and the ice on your
fingers down my legs,
and i
can assure
you that
possessing me
will not make you look
any better.
:icontowards-eternity:towards-eternity 32 0
Empty Void
I sit here
mindlessly wielding my pen
travelling to the darkest corners
of my weary mind.
Hopelessly trying to squeeze words
to rid of the pain
silently ending my life.
I love you.
That, you know.
But you feel for another.
Such a sad fate,
unrequited love.
Yet you accept me
support me
care for me.
you do these
Such a good friend.
I contemplate
and face the fact
that's all we're gonna be
It's strange.
You have nothing for me,
and yet
just a smile
a look
defines the word
to me.
I cherish
the laughter we shared
the agreements we made
the times we spent
the moment we met.
My day
is perfectly complete
with the sight of you
But at the end,
it's not me you're with.
All the smiles
the laughter
the joy
the gladness
By sun
I gain much
being near you.
But by moon
seemingly longer,
I am left with nothing
but an empty void
in my soul
a hollow space
in my already shattered heart.
No matter,
after all
what is there that I can
:icondsteffi:DSteffi 25 10
Die Some Other Time.
I pick a smile from all the blinding lies.
Taping it to my face-
I'll whisper to myself,
That the sun shall shine through to me today.
I'll put my hope out on my way,
I'll whisper that everything will be okay-
That I'm not a hopeless little girl on the stray.
I'll find my way someday soon-
I'll stop the tears between my sighs.
I'll whisper,
Everything will be okay-
That I'll die another day.
I can't give up,
Knowing everybody has sucky days-
That I might as well smile for those I love.
I'll throw away those nasty pills-
I'll ignore my knife when stress calls my name in the tough times.
I'll be strong today.
I won't cry one tear when I say good bye to him,
I won't think of all the good things he said to me-
How he loves me.
How he used to say my name.
He claims he wants me,
Disappearing with my heart
:iconeyeofhavoc:EyeOfHavoc 16 49
The Best Case for God: Refuted
Pay it "Foreword"
I recently came across an ingenious website written to argue in favor of the existence of Yahweh, the Christian God.  The argument presented is impressive, if only for its crafty misdirection and intellectual sleight-of-hand.  The website is the work of Rich Deem, who seems very intelligent and well-educated.  In this way he provides evidence for Michael Shermer's quote, "smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons."
As I wrote this book, I began by focusing on the linked article about whether atheists have disproven God, and then branched out to other parts of the website later.  I then found even more interesting arguments from William Lane Craig and addressed them as well.  I've also included a fe
:iconbatmanwithbunnyears:BatmanWithBunnyEars 203 308
     Waiter? Oh, Waiter?
     I don't mean to be a pain,
But there's a fly in my soup.
Could you care to explain?
     Waiter? Waiter!
     I don't mean to be rude,
          But there's a creature on my plate,
          That seems to be eating my food!
     I'm sorry, Waiter?
     This could be a wonderful dish,
But I wasn't really expecting
A tank with this fish.
     Waiter, oh, waiter!
     There's a bird in my bread,
          And a cat in the butter,
          With seasoning on it's head!
     Waiter. I say, Waiter!
:icondizzymac:DizzyMac 7 20
Too much noise inside my brain
Can't think, can't blink
Just when I think I've figured out the answers
My heart starts bleeding again
No tourniquet in sight; only more knives.
I wish you weren't left out of reach
But there are tears whether you're near or far.
I've brought this on myself?  No.
You have all brought it on me against my will
All I have ever wanted was happiness, contentment
Lo and behold I've found it
And then you all have to rip it away again.
How to pass the hours each day
That's all we need to know
If we can't figure that out now
What makes us think
We'll figure it out in the next life?
Can there be no good without evil?
You're the cause of darkness, in my soul
Otherwise I am a sunrise
Full of potential without you.
:iconlostdroplets:LostDroplets 6 3




don't ask
United States
I am a teen age boy that defies all stereotypes, though i break to many, describing myself is very hard...

I hope all that see this have a great day, and those that didn't see this, see it, and have a great day (^_^)

Current Residence: California
Favourite genre of music: techno
Operating System: windows 7
MP3 player of choice: PSP
Wallpaper of choice: Neko
Favourite cartoon character: Jerry
Personal Quote: You're attracted by looks, like them for their personality, but you can only love them for thei
well, I PLANNED to be posting a new picture every week but then one of my most reaccuring monster reared it's ugly little head.  Yes, that creepy monster is also known as school.

School now is taking up a huge chunk of my time as i try to keep up with my homework ( which is redidclous) and I'm still mastering the rubix cube ( down to 1:15 average).

My promise is that this week, I will create a new page of my pratice of faces and will have it in bfore a week from the 6th.  I want to work on my hair and deffering between male and female faces, eyes and noses.

I may pratice a little bit of proportions, but it will mainly be a head thingy-ma-jig.  So, stay strong my fellow people (if you are a person, if not, then leave and come back with cookies)

Sorry if anyone was looking forward to my drawings, so i will try my best  (^_^)
  • Listening to: 1920s jazz
  • Reading: rp responses
  • Watching: IS: infinite Stratos
  • Playing: touhou
  • Eating: Peanuts
  • Drinking: herbal simulants


Add a Comment:
Felicious-Clank Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday! <3
KibbieTheGreat Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the watch :D
Felicious-Clank Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the add btw ^.^ :)
bladesafaridor Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2012
you're welcome
StArMigEt Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much for faving "Rain" I'm pleased you liked it :dance:
bladesafaridor Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
well, I favorited it so I know to go back to it, I like writing responses In poetry, so look forward to it in the coming week. As for the moment, not in the mindset to do it justice, the tone needs more compassion, and I have none at this moment...

well, thanks for the response, shows you care!
StArMigEt Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well thank you very much! it shows you have respect to respond very thoughtfully and I will look forward your comment with much enthusiasm.

I greatly appreciate any feedback I get. You're awesome :love:
WilliamRobertJoseph Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the Llama Badge!
bladesafaridor Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2012
thanks for all the favorites, etc! you deserve it for reasons unknown to me at this moment!
WilliamRobertJoseph Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Lol, thanks
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